Ellen Stafford (chicaboo25) wrote,
Ellen Stafford
chicaboo25

Life

Thanks to everyone who commented on my last entry sorry I didn't get back to you all but I have been really busy with work. It cheered me up to get comments from such nice people. Sorry I haven't been around much to comment on your journals, I will try to make more of an effort to make more time for Livejournal.

Well it's nearly 5 in the morning and I am wide awake. Last night the thing I probably dreaded the most in recent days happened. My step mother decided that she can't stop seeing the bloke she was seeing from work and therefore Dad felt the only thing he can do is leave. She says she loves Dad and he believes her but how can she hurt a man so much. I never thought I would see my Dad cry, I felt like there is nothing I could do. His heart has been ripped out. Writing this is making me cry. I love my Dad and I can't bear to see him like this. I know it's only natural but it's so unfair. He is such a good husband to my step mum. He has supported her through her career, he is a postman and he comes home from work each day and tidies the house, does all the cooking. Maybe he has been too good. He has always shown love and support to her two children (now grown ups) as well, and this is what he gets. She has given the guy she is seeing until Monday to decide as to whether he will leave his wife. The sad thing is I know that if he decides not to my Dad will go back. I don't hate my step mum infact I have always liked her and looked at her and my Dad as a perfect couple but I hope she realises just how many people this is going to hurt and how my Dad is. He doesn't want to live on his own, he loves her so much. I just feel so sad about it all.

Dad stayed here last night and is going to his friends tonight and then is coming back for Sunday night. I worry about him so much. Until recently I didn't feel my Dad loved me but when Anna (my sister) was ill with depression he changed and I realised he did love us and care about us. Last night he even admitted that he didn't see us enough as kids because he was so in love with my step mother all he wanted to do was spend time with her. He said it was selfish and I think he regrets it now. I am just glad that my Dad has my sister and I because we won't let anything happen to him. I love him. He's my Dad.
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