Ellen Stafford (chicaboo25) wrote,
Ellen Stafford

Older Men....

Last couple of days I have been thinking about why I have this funny attraction to older men like Phil Schofield, Shane Richie, Chris Vacher, James Hewitt etc.....I am convinced its something to do with my relationship with my dad. When I think about Dad I still have loads of things I don't tell him. I still see him like a stranger in a way. Certain things I couldn't talk to dad about. I feel there is like some wall there...like when I was a kid if I didn't want to do something I used to be scared to tell him. Even now if he tells me off or critisises me I really take it badly. I am scared of him but he has never really done anything to make me feel that way other than shout at me as a kid when I was naughty. I guess because he left when I was 7 and then I only saw him once a week I just didn't know him like mum and I will never know him properly. It's all sad....

So maybe I like older men because I feel like I need someone to take care of me in life...someone older....oh I dunno....just thinking too much probably.

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